Pinata !

birthday pictures

Today is Luke's birthday. Exactly 5 years ago I was anxiously sweating in the heat of an Astrakhan courtroom to learn whether I would be permitted to be his mom. Those ealy days are a blur as he was like one of those fightened little monkeys who was removed from his mother and given a stuffed monkey to attach to. It was the look of fear in his eyes and that desperate clinging I remember most.

I took a mom and me gymnastics class with Aleks during those first few months. My little monkey was in the baby sling during the class, sometimes he would sleep. I remember thinking that at least when he slept he was relaxed. Otherwise he was tense, demanding, crying, banging his head on the floor, pulling his own hair and thus his crew cut was born. He was a child that was literally sucking the life out of me. Then at about 6-8 months home, he started to ease up. He cried less, he stopped banging his head, but he still needed that crew cut. He slowly began to bring my very serious oldest son out of himself. They could laugh together, they learned to play together and eventually they even loved each other. My six year old has a belly laugh that is soooo infectous. He loves with all his heart. He is sensitive and in command of his emotions as much as any 6 yr old can be. He is a good friend who shares his candy with kids he does not know at the pool. He shares his toys with friends. He even occassionally shares with his brothers. He is fun. He lives life big and has a great smile...He has a crew cut, but only cause he looks so darn cute---he no longer needs it.

bats

last week we had a bat…yes a bat in the house, maybe for couple days. He was removed when he was brought to my attention…ick! I am potty training wild man Eli these days so I am usually looking down not up. That is going remarkably well (yesterday 2.5 hour nap and dry!!!). So Wednesday morning I am changing him from diaper to pants upstairs after he woke up. “the brothers” (as he calls them) are down stairs playing. Suddenly they run upstairs with a tale of a bat in the house ---yeah right…the past week alone I have been told of a monkey, a lion, a snake, a frog (ok that was real---get that thing out of the house), a chipmunk, a shark, a goat and an elephant…what were the chances of a real bat---ummm 100%.

So as I walk stooped over to the family room from upstairs , I see the little feller hanging from one of the high window grids. Still not convinced he was hanging in with us, I check the window from the outside…yup it was inside. Luckily this was 730 in the morning so he was sleeping. But until I opened the door that morning, everything was closed since the day before. YUCK the darn thing was probably flying around all night. Other than Luke we sleep with our doors closed, but still.

How did he get in, let me think…oh yeah the boys who live in a barn sleep in my house. With all this heat, my AC has been cranking, the darn bat probably thought he was flying into a cave one evening---hoping it was the night before.

An animal control guy came out and grabbed it with a huge glove and hurled him out the back door. You know they scream when you touch them, or maybe it was the waking up from a sound sleep…

where you goin mama? crazeee?

Ok so I must have muttered this answer enough for Eli to naturally answer his own question...It sounds so much better coming from his sweet little voice.

And it is apparently true. Yesterday morning we set off for church as usual. I thought we had enough time, but as I pulled into the already full lot i figured I must have lost more time than I thought. I hurried the boys into the church, full of people I did not recognize. Ohhhh I had a bad feeling. Plus it was half over...Oh my I had truly done it this time...We were and hour early for our usual 9:30 mass and unfortunately 1/2 hour late for the one we were sitting in...

hope it still "counts" cause we did not stay for the next mass....

"you really should get to know him better"

That from my 5 year old after cycling through my children's names to land on the right party. You know, "Aleks, uh Luke, ahh Eli stop doing whatever you are doing that is outside the boundaries of the house rules"...Eli was coloring the walls---AGAIN, well not actively, I found the evidence this morning. Orange bathtub crayon no higher than 30 inches on several upstairs walls...I found it as I was trying to leave the house with all 3 of them for an excursion to the grocery store.

When I just had the 2 of them, I ALWAYS got the names right. Add the third and, well, apparently I need to get to know them better, according to Luke. He of course is the most dismayed at my inability to correctly identify my children, because prior to Eli arriving home, it was usually Luke that had crossed the line, so that is usually the name that comes out of my mouth first. He gets seriously offended by an inaccurate accusation.

I should not be surprised at my current verbal miscues. I think I got them from my grandma. She had 5 kids, and a slew of grand kids and when asked how many great grandchildren she had, she would reply "too damn many to know how many" or something like that. I can still hear her scolding her grown children..."Joe, Charlie, Billy, Mary, Loretta, ahhh Sue!" We never really understood, as none of her children were named Sue.


hey at least I haven't used some random name in the mix....

mothers day...

this morning I awoke and my guys brought me to my desk which was now filled with notes and cards and spelling tests...oh my...

Anyhow, here is the note from Aleks

It is noteworthy that he felt the need to sign his last name as well as his first! But most special was his sentiment about his little brother. yes, I cried when I read it! He also presented me with a bracelet, a spelling test that he aced, and an award from school that he kept secret for respecting others and acting responsibly.

It does not get much better than this, unless of course you also have a 5 yr old son! Luke presented me with a card he made and his teacher helped him assemble.

I am not sure if I am more thrilled that he thinks I am 14 or that he'd spend his last dime on a chair for me...doesn't matter, the best part of the day was Luke tidying up the bedrooms for me, and I did not even ask him, 5 year olds are just so stinkin awesome.

Then there was the baby...well he gifted me at church with his wonderful 2.5 yr old attitude. Oh my it was one of our most challenging appearances ever. I will leave it as flying books, screaming, and the ever so wise 9 yr old behind us remarking how violent he was...ahhh the joys of kids in church. Now I would not classify the baby as violent, but I suppose from this kid's veiw, I guess you could make that assumption. At the end of the day, he is 2, and he won't be 2 forever....

Spring is mostly here

russian adoption in the news

Its been a few weeks since the woman in TN "returned" her son to Russia after being home little more than 6 months. The shock of the news I suppose has worn off a bit, but certainly not the firestorm of repercussions to thousands of children and families waiting...

While I have no idea what experiences led this family to that outcome, I thank heavens cannot imagine being there. I can however imagine what my children might have thought about it. I did not expect anyone to come out and have a conversation with my boys about it since they are all under 7, but I did/do worry they will overhear someone asking me about it.

So I decided to have a chat with my 5 and 7 yr olds in case they happened upon the story...I did not dwell on the abandonment issue, just the facts. They wanted to know why the mom sent her son away...I suppose that is what we would all really like to understand. But the biggest thing for them to grasp was that she put him on a plane---BY HIMSELF! this was shocking to them. Not surprising since in their experience, they go nowhere without an adult who loves them---no matter how naughty they have been. There is always hugs and kisses and a happy tuck in at bedtime.

I know for my guys their experiences as infants, while still overwhelming to them, since coming home have allowed them to heal. My babies had issues, Aleks was so quiet he never cried, even when he had to have been hurt. He was "easy" as in not demanding but I was so worried about him. Would he ever talk? Well with lots of attention, dr visits, and speech therapy yes---but it was 2 years before I could hope that he would be "typical"...With Luke, oh my he was the Tasmanian devil with mood swings that made your head spin. He also pulled his own hair and banged his head on the floor. It was six months before his hurting himself subsided. It was constant vigilance on my part. It was physically and emotionally exhausting. He would cry for hours, not because of anything you could see...He cried if I put him down, if I picked him up, if I left the room...I wondered if he would ever feel safe. Physically he was ok, growing, developing as he should be. But emotionally he was scarred. He is 5.5 now and those first months home are a distant memory. My youngest is just 29 months and probably had the easiest transition. But even with little ones there can be adjustment issues.

I knew this because I researched...I prepared, and still it seemed VERY difficult some days.